Opinions Unsolicited: Comics, Laptops, and Adorable Boyfriends.

Hola! Its been a while. It took me some time to realise that I can still write entries at the boyfriend's place even if he doesn't have access to the intertubes here. That is the wonder that is laptops. So, here I sit, on the futon in the living room, plugging away at the lappytop and listening to the sounds of Depeche Mode [Violator album] and Mr. B. tidying the kitchen.

I heart my laptop. Its shiny and useful, and if necessary could be used as a blunt weapon. That might damage the contents and condition of it, but hey, my safety comes first, yes?

And onto Mr. B.: He's adorable. In a masculine way, of course. He makes me lunch to take for work when I stay the night at his place, he doesn't tease me when I cry at movies, he gets all smiley and proud when I do better at Guitar Heroes than he does, and we can be silly together and have fun and it's completely comfortable and relaxed. A girl could get used to this. Except that girl has to be me, because I don't share well.

And now onto the reviewish thing:

Umbrella Academy: Apocalypse Suite, by Gerard Way and Gabriel Ba

Issues 1 & 2

To start this off, I'm going to have to type an intro that I have seen already in various formsabout the intertubes and even in the lettercol at the back of both issues.

When I heard Gerard Way was going to be authoring a comic book, I was afraid that the My Chemical Romance frontman was simply banking on his celebrity status to make more moulas in a different field. I was just as curious about the series as I was apalled. The funny thing? I can't even tell you why I don't like his band. I couldn't name a song by them if I wanted to. I do remember seeing a music video of theirs once, at Miss Meggles house, while we were drinking and making fun of Much Music videos. I don't think the sound was actually turned on. And all I thought throughout this video was drowned out by the hysterical laughter that my brain produced. Not the laughter that comes out after a particularly good punchline, the other kind of laugher. The bad kind. The kind that has nothing good to say about the cause of the outburst.

Anyway, the series, so far, is damn good.

The first issue starts off with a typical-in-a-not-so-typical-way intro to the premise, first with the excerpts of The Monocles notes about seven children he has adopted, and then with a few pages of how The Monocle came to adopt them and why. The first page is one huge panel dedicated to the finishing move of a wrestling match between some absurdly large human named Tusslin' Tom Gurney and an even more absurdly large space-squid from Rigel X-9 who sadly goes unnamed.

After the intro, we find a two-page spread title page. The entire title of issue 1 is: The Umbrella Academy featuring Sir Reginald Hargreeves A.K.A. The Monocle, in... The Day The Eiffel Tower Went Berserk, being part one of six in the story: Apocalypse Suite.

The Day the Eiffel Tower Went Berserk? Hells, yes.

The second issue sports some notes on the back cover by Vanya Hargreeves [00.07] about her 'siblings' excerpted from her book Extra-Ordinary: y Life as Number Seven. The silly long title? “The Umbrella Academy featuring the mortal remains of Sir Reginald Hargreeves A.K.A. The Monocle in: We Only See Each Other at Weddings and Funerals”.

I appreciate the morbid humour. I appreciate the experi- mental surgery that left number One, a.k.a. Spaceboy a.k.a. Luther with what appears to be the body of an ape and perma-tubing going from a backpack to his neck and belt and little superhero briefs. I appreciate the little black masks they wore as children and the numbers one and two still wear as adults that remind me of the Incredibles. I appreciate number seven and her misery at not seeming to have any powers. I appreciate lines such as And just as I suspected-- Zombie-robot Gustave Eiffel!

I think that about says everything I wanted to say, really.